I know it's stupid, but I started another arrangement today. Hey, I already finished the hard part! It's smooth sailing from here, and if I work for a few more hours, I'll have most of it done. I don't know if it'll work or not, but I'm excited about it.

Today I had lunch with Brian. I had fun with the comment card at Hardee's. Then it was off to the post office where I mailed out 14 CDs (+ thank you notes) to alums. The woman behind the desk complimented me on my necklace (I was wearing my big green beaded one from Rag-O-Rama) and said she liked my name, because it's her son's nickname.

I went to the library with the intention of getting some reading done but I just ended up browsing the 'net for a little while and then reading about 30 pages of Villette. Around 4 I drove over to Walgreens to give Al his CDs and met up with Phil and Katie, who took more. I hope everyone's happy with them.

I talked to George! I think Emily and I are going to do dinner with him (and Andrew, possibly?) on Friday, so that'll be fun. George has been in town all summer and I've seen him 0 times. That's my fault.

I came home, watched Clue with Emily, cleaned up, and came in here to hook my computer up to my speakers and work on this song. It's been a good day. Perhaps boring, but very productive. No drama = good.

The order form is up!
Click here to listen to sounds clips and (maybe? hopefully?) order Whoa Bundy. We'll ship it or allow you to pick it up!

And now officially ends the whoring of the album. Back to just-Jazzy stuff

My Emily left me yesterday morning (EARLY) for Minnesota (Did you see the huge ball of twine yet?), meaning for the next four days I won't get any IMs from Andy asking, "Is she there?" Still, I am lonely - it's really quiet. All I can do is stare at Em's gold heels. They make me sad. And not just because I can't wear them.

I fixed all of the concert problems with Event Services, but in the process I may have gotten the Pikers in trouble. Which would be bad, because I really really like the Pikers. Apparently no one ever offered them January 28th for Graham Chapel. Barbara suggested, "AJ might have been trying to ruffle your feathers." It was probably just a mistake.

I took advantage of my boredom yesterday and decided to clean. It was kind of an experiment. I've cleaned parts of the apartment before, but never really the whole thing. I was a machine...while simultaneously doing my laundry and the dishes, I organized, threw out trash, moved some stuff down to the storage room, vacuumed, SWIFFERED!, and scrubbed the kitchen counter and table. The orange wood cleaner is my favorite. And I had fun. So there you go, it looks like I'm not a princess, I was just a repressed housewife-in-training.

Roberto came over around 1 to take his table back, so he helped me lift the TV off of it. Then I decided to rearrange the furniture. Another experiment. I moved the couch to the back wall against the windows and turned the coffee table/rug so they were more visible from the rest of the apartment. Em, if you hate it, we can change it back.

( Pictures behind the cut )

So things are almost done, we just need a few more pieces of furniture and then some wall art/decor. And flowers.

Brian and I tried to organize an After Dark barbecue but no one was available. Either that or they were concerned about the awkward factor. Which I wish wasn't a valid concern. We decided to grill anyway and ended up in Forest Park with really amazing, gigantic burgers and hot dogs. A very All-American afternoon. And then Best Week Ever decided to make fun of Tom Cruise for about half of the show. Very satisfying.

My dad called...he's applying for a Masters program in criminal justice and just received his undergraduate transcript in the mail. His words: "I beat you in terms of high school grades, but you're doing better than I did in college." My GPA is like .2 points higher than his, and he was a Bio major. So in reality, he was probably working harder than I am...but still. Eh, he still wins, he has a successful career and I don't even have a job. Although...Brian did go into Subterranean for me yesterday and ask for an application. I was right, they weren't hiring. It's a tiny store and they probably don't have trouble keeping people around. Anyway, I still owe him, since I didn't have the guts to do it myself. I barely have the guts to buy anything there, for fear they'll laugh at my book selection once I walk out the door. But I'm buying that Japanese-English dictionary before the end of the summer. I'm determined.

Can you guess which group of people is on my mind?

No, not male romance novel cover models.



( So, I was kind of bored... )

By the way, Google Answers is my new favorite thing.

There's something magical about waking up from a refreshing nap and having your best friend immediately present you with an apple pie smoothie. You = goddess.

I just posted an entry and my computer freaked out and lost it. It just figures that as soon as I decide to start doing real updates again, technology won't allow it. Anyway, here was the jist of things.

• I literally spent the entire week in the library, with the exception of Tuesday, when I spent the day in the condo waiting for my mattress to be delivered.


• Poetry portfolio was handed in Friday, and now begins the WebSTAC wait. I remember last semester all of my other classes ended about a week before my Japanese Civ exam so I got to watch my grades pop up slowly over the course of a few hours while I was studying with Geoff and Andrew in Whispers. That was exciting. I'm less excited this semester.


• Western Civ exam was also Friday. I mixed up Sarajevo and Belgrade, but it was only a point. Anyway, now I'm always going to remember where the two cities are. It's like when you lose the spelling bee and for the rest of your life you remember the exact spelling of the word you missed. Mine is "parsonage," though to this day I maintain my 4th-grade teacher mispronounced it.


• Take-home exam due Wednesday, but I'm going to finish it tomorrow and use the rest of the week to move into the apartment.


• After Dark dinner last night at Ragazzi's. I just wish we all could have been at one table. Afterwards, Ryan, Brian, and I went to karaoke at O'Leary's where we met up with Mr. Andy Hobin. Ryan sang "I Want You Back," I got "Magic Man," but unfortunately, we didn't get to hear Brian sing "Margaritaville." Next time. And there will be a next time. I also received a phone call later that night from Andy telling me his two female friends thought Ryan was cute and referred to him as "Chops" all night (like the guy from The Simple Life.)


• I have a secret: I like Brian.

+ AFTER DARK SHIRTS CAME IN!

Front! When we wear these we look like a group of soccer players.

Back of the shirt. Ha ha. We = so clever.

Oh, and, BTW, I'm friends with Jenna Jameson on myspace.

Last night was our final concert of the year...the senior boys celebrated by performing in towels. Classic.

I spent the rest of the evening writing and opening (and not necessarily eating) fortune cookies until my room was invaded by Jason and Emily. Jason generously brought over a stack of CDs from his ceramics class and uploaded a ton of music to my very very sparce iTunes Library. Interpol, James Brown, the Notwist, Rufus Wainwright, and the Starlight Mints...welcome to my computer. Hopefully it won't die again.

Emily let me edit her poetry. I enjoy editing. It's like writing, but easier.

So now I'm in Whispers...in a BOOTH. Thank you, Monday 8:30 am during reading week. This place will be packed by noon but for now, I'm enjoying being in my own little Whispery world.

And, oh, by the way...

Pics from tonight's gig at SLU are at the bottom of the page here: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/reindeerjaz/album?.dir=c67e&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/reindeerjaz/my_photos

A few low-quality videos of the Statues (right-click and save...or whatever):

• awesome dance moves during "Cry Me A River"
• clip from "Fake Plastic Trees"...we were backstage wanting to cry
• amazing Napoleon Dynamite impression...the guy looked just like him

Shout out to all the LJ people who said hello to me at WILD last night. You made me ridiculously happy...you made Brian amused. He doesn't get it!

First update in a week. Why? Well, there was Passover, then there was a week of WORK WORK WORK. And when I wasn't working, I was doing things for After Dark. And when I wasn't doing that, I was trying to make my condo habitable.

Speaking of the condo...we have a couch now. And I have a bed, but no mattress. Furniture, etc. that I still need to purchase: chairs for the dining room table (which comes in a week or so, I believe,) a coffee table, 2 sitting chairs for the living room, a television, something to hold the television, a bookshelf, a dresser, a desk, and a nightstand.

This weekend = your last two chances to see After Dark perform before the summer hiatus:

• Tonight: SLU's BareNaked Statues have their spring concert, "Bare It All" at the Xavier Theater (@ SLU, of course) at 7:30 pm. We're going to sing 3 songs during the first half of the show.
• Tomorrow: After you watch the Family Guy premiere, swing by May Auditorium (in the basement of Simon Hall) at 9:00 p.m. to watch the Stereotypes. We're singing 3 songs then, too. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE EVER TO HEAR US SING "SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS." Ever. Unless you buy the CD in the fall. But this is the last time we'll do it live. Don't miss!

Of course, my voice is going out and I'm currently living off of cherry Ricola throat drops and Chloraseptic. Mmmm. Come see me anyway.

Trust that after May 11th, the regular journal entries will return. I'll be stealing wireless, since internet isn't getting set up in the condo until the 18th. GRRRR.

Really good things:

• St. Louis weather right now
• Kaldi's at night
• walking barefoot
• the dinosaur statues at the Science Center
• our kitchen, fully stocked with spices, herbs, cookbooks, silverware, and other amazing things, thanks to Emily's mother
• http://www.1001freefonts.com
• confidently switching a class from pass/fail to credit
• tomato soup
• the alto part on "When I Fall In Love"

What's good with you right now?

Wow, just saw Ricky Zamora's mom, dad, and sister (Tanya) on a tour while I was on the way back from my voice lesson. They picked a good day to visit...the weather is perfect.

I'm excited about tonight - it's AD dinner at the Loyals'. I was thinking about how I only have a month left with this specific group of people. That's really sad. I want to make this a great month.

Current amusement: playing Steve Winwood's "Valerie" on repeat.

Sang in a fountain today.

Had a really nice (and brief) lunch with Emily and Chris, where we discussed internal rhyme and syntax. I swear, it was fun.

Finally started to understand the organization of Edmund Burke's "Reflections On the French Revolution" after looking up a bunch of archaic terms in the dictionary.

Mayan Mochas lose all appeal when they're iced.

I'm wearing a broken sweater. I'll take it somewhere to get the zipper fixed. Right after I take my computer in to get the keys fixed. And my car, to get the taillights fixed.

I get to see Frank Bidart again tonight. Let's see if he remembers me. Apparently, the craft talk is going to be about spacing on the page. It doesn't exactly sound thrilling, but I have faith.

I watched Ghost World last night, snuggled up with my comforter.

This morning, Emily and I took a drive...cinammon sugar bagel + cream cheese from Einstein's = wonderful.

Macaroons and chocolate cookies from Trader Joe's for rehearsal = almost better. And Azad, the guy behind the counter, was very friendly.

8 people showing up for rehearsal = awful. Should have cancelled. Although it was wonderful to see Elyse.

This afternoon I dreamt about getting arrested, then got a phone call at the dorm from my dad and Max (maxrey), who informed me (laughing) that Max had been busted by a security guard for hanging out in the parking garage at the mall with David and Danielle. He has been banned from AMC theatres, the mall, and Bahama Breeze for 2 days. He may look like a little hooligan, but he's a good boy. A good boy who likes to have sitting contests at Subway. He's coming to visit for a week this summer, so that'll be fun. I'll try not to get him arrested for real.

Midterm over. That wasn't bad at all. I got the maps...thank God I noticed that Vienna was North of the German confederation line, because there were two dots practically next to each other in the Austrian Empire part of the map. I almost mixed up Rome and Naples, but Rome was part of the Papal States. Yay Papal States. Yay for me getting to the library at 8:30 this morning and having an extra hour and a half to review. And I started the morning with "Helter Skelter," just like dad did before his bio tests in the '70s. Except I'm pretty sure they didn't have iPods back then.

Here was the problem. The essay? They basically asked us to sum up the entire French revolution. "Discuss the suffering and the accomplishments of the French Revolution from the meeting of the Estates General to Napoleon's coup d'etat. You should take half an hour for this essay."

HALF AN HOUR? Okay. I did it, but it definitely required some extreme summarizing.

Now I get to write a 500-word essay taking an event in my life and comparing it to something else. A metaphor paper. I have to drag this metaphor out for 500-words. This is doomed to suck.

Byyy the way...tomorrow, 8 p.m., Graham Chapel, Jive concert. We're performing 2 songs. If you like Journey, you should come.

I was a bad person yesterday and just put myself on auto-pilot. Followed through with things until I just snapped. We performed at Relay and I wanted to bundle up and stay for a little while, but I went to the Whispers party, a decision that I realized over the night was based in some sense of obligation. You know...a cappella concert, then party. That's the way it goes. I stayed for 2 hours. The people were absolutely wonderful, it wasn't that...it was just that being there, in some sense, made me feel like myself freshman year, and I didn't want to go back there. I always feel pushed into this position of inferiority. That's my own perception, and I know it isn't based in reality. It's just that I don't enjoy parties where I feel like it's just me in a sea of people I've never seen before. I've never been good with introducing myself to people I know I'm never going to see again and who I know don't care. I don't want to tell the same stories all night or repeat my name and my abridged life story. I don't see the point. I'm just not content to "sort-of-know" a whole bunch of people. Because then everytime you see them it's that fakey, "Hey, how are you doing? Oh, wow, it's been so long" sort of thing, where you both know you don't care, and you'd rather just walk right each other by than engage in empty, meaningless, back-and-forth banter where you give out updates about your life, a life that the other person really could care less about. I feel like it's a waste of time. I'm guessing it isn't that way for a lot of people. I'm just not like that - I've always made the people around me work for friendship because I'm shy and I can't have equally shy friends, or friends whose idea of a personal question is "What's your favorite color?" It just wouldn't work - my biggest problem, and I've been told this since I was 12, is that I don't let people in unless they shake me and say, "Jazzy, TELL ME ABOUT THIS." I don't offer up a lot of information unless there's someone asking me the specifics...and then I'm candid and detailed, because I really enjoy that honesty. For that reason, I'm not close to people who can't ask. I don't dislike shy people, it isn't that...it's just that I'm doomed to horribly awkward "friendships" with them.

So I stopped by Relay again because I was bringing Emily and I was supposed to watch her sing with Checkpoint, and I was cold and exhausted and just needed to go home and be by myself for a little while...because that's something I'm not doing much of lately. And I let her down - this was new and big for her. So I'm angry with myself, but I can't go back.

Relay had me thinking about Tali. Those memories should have been enough to tell me to be a better friend, but instead it just shoved me in the opposite direction until I was running from everything.

I had a nightmare last night. It was so awful that it physically hurt, which I guess was karma. I haven't had nightmares in a little while. Today the goal is to distract myself. Brunch, then studying. Apologies for the depressing entry.

Lovely St. Patrick's Day. I didn't wear a green shirt, but my coat did a good enough job.

We had a show at Whittemore House for admissions. It was a really interesting set-up...we had dinner with a large group of high school college advisors and members of the Department of Admissions here at Wash U. They split the group up regionally, so I ended up at a table with people from Tennessee and Florida. Also at my table? Nannette Tarbouni and Steve Frappier. Nannette and I had written to each other when I was a senior in high school, so it was strange to meet her after all of this time. She was just wonderful - one of the friendliest people I've ever met. And then, of course, Steve, who visited Trinity my senior year and ran the information session. I hadn't seen him in 2 years and he remembered that I was born in St. Louis and that I'd started out in the Art School. He asked me if I'd seen Zac around lately, which reminded me...no, I haven't. Where has he gone? Did the ZBT house eat him?

Around 9:30, I went to O'Connell's with Brian, Andy, and Michelle. The abundance of green = pure joy. The boys started singing Irish drinking songs and Brian called our waiter Dave Navarro...thankfully, not to his face. Then it was a few bars of Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun." Michelle and I drank lemonade and stole french fries...Andy explained that girls have a rule: there aren't calories in french fries if someone else bought them. I was ridiculously tired - no idea why. I came home and fell asleep in my day clothes. I remembered to turn my lights off, at least.

Also, just a question: Who else gets irrationally embarassed after sending out an e-mail to a large number of people with a grammatical error? You sit there wondering...do I send out another e-mail correcting myself? Surely, no. No one likes getting unneccessary mail. Why inconvenience people for the sake of your pride, even if your lazy typing has made resulted in you appearing to have the grammar skills of a caveman? (If you're wondering, it said: "Great job at the gig last night! I have an amazing time.")

Funny link of the day: http://www.dahv.com.

When I have insomnia, I organize things. I organized the entire After Dark GC box that Brian brought over here yesterday. I made a list of its contents. It was like I was drunk on shuffling and folding and hole-punching. This morning, I had an organization hangover...I woke up, saw the box, and made a mental note to stop being crazy. Still, I guess it's those moments of insanity that keep things in order.

Today's a big day, which I'll spend in the library. First, I have a registration advising meeting, where I'll show my Dean the list of 8000 classes that I'm interested in for next semester. These include Modern Japan, Exposition, Advanced Fiction (no section with Dave Schuman! Damn!), Banned Books (with Ruland. Hello, daily literary journal. I've missed you, my old friend.), The Irish Literary Revival, Literature of Catastrophe, Abnormal Psych, and, the ultimate Wash U course: Human Ev. I still need to fill out my English major questionnaire, write an Art of Poetry paper, read 2 chapters on iambic pentameter, write an Art of Poetry poem, write down workshop notes for 3 of the poems for Adv. Poetry (I get workshopped tomorrow. Ergh.), and read chapter 24 in Western Civ. Then I'll come home, my fourth Mayan Mocha of the day in hand, and I'll do my laundry. Which means I need quarters. Will I stop by the bank? Will I remember? Probably not. Here's hoping.

Heads up...the Mosaic Whispers's annual concert, Splash of Color, is this Friday and Saturday, 7:30 pm in Graham Chapel. Tickets are $5, doors open at 7:00. After Dark (yay) is performing on Saturday night. Btw, Aaron, you should definitely make a post in washustudents. They love a cappella over there. I think it might have something to do with those two crazy moderators.

Emily and I are walking down the steps of the Campanile. You know, the one next to il Duomo. Suddenly, a boy in a SLU sweatshirt appears.

In disbelief, Emily exclaims, "Oh my gosh, you go to SLU? We go to Wash U!"

The boy walking behind the boy in the SLU sweatshirt takes one look at me and shouts, "Wait! I know you! You're in an a cappella group!"

He's Nick from the BareNaked Statues.

Emily and I spend that night, in Florence, in an Irish pub, discussing vocal percussion with people from St. Louis.

It's a small world.

More surreal stories from Italy when I return. Or when I hit up another cybercafe.

It was so incredibly beautiful out today. I loved Adv. Poetry, and I don't know what I'm going to without it for a week. I need to say that Wash U has an incredible selection of composition instructors. I don't know if I've been lucky, or what...but I've had Dave Schuman, Kate Schreyer and, my current favorite, Andy Gallagher. They've all been amazing. Deepani blew my mind today with her poem...I'm cursing myself for not asking her if I could make a copy before giving it back to her. Otherwise, I'd be sharing it with all of you.

Tomorrow, I depart for Italy. Saving me from going crazy will be lots and lots of books, my iPod, Emily Flanders holding my hand...and probably lots of alcohol.

In After Dark news, I'm now Group Coordinator and Webmaster. Weird. Weird. Weird. And exciting. And probably terrifying for everyone in the group.